Fear of the Red Dress
by tatalol
Summary: "Something always happens when I wear red, Zach." "Which is ironic," he replied. "Because you look so good in red." 5 mishaps that occur while Cameron Ann Morgan is wearing a red dress. Zammie. One-shot.


**AN: So I changed my original story idea because it was- quite frankly- boring. I hope this one isn't. It's five mishaps that occur while Cameron Ann Morgan is wearing a red dress.**

"I really hate this dress," Cammie grumbled as Zach zipped up her red spaghetti strapped dress.

"_I_ really love this dress," he replied. He stepped away and Cammie turned a few times experimentally testing her attire. "Relax Cam, I've all but welded that bra shut for you. It isn't going to fall again." Cammie glared at him.

"It could," she mumbled before glancing at her watch. "I've got to go. I'm late." She grabbed her purse.

"Say hi to Carl for me," Zach said fastening on her necklace, while she tapped her foot impatiently. "Tell him your _husband _says hello."

"_Charles,_" Cammie said putting emphasis on the correct name. "And he does _not_ have a thing for me."

"I beg to differ," Zach muttered under his breath as Cammie slipped her shoes on, pecked him on the lips, and ran out the door.

Xx

Less than an hour later Cammie and Charles, or Mr. and Mrs. Courtier as they were known as tonight, walked into the mansion at the end of the Worhiemer estate.

The banquet hall was dimly lit but spacious. Round tables seating guests and multiple bars were everywhere. There were guests milling around drinking champagne and more than a few couples dancing in the center.

Cammie couldn't see the Worhiemers but she and Charles grabbed champagne flutes and began scanning the crowd.

"So," Charles began. "Would you like to dance?"

"Maybe later," Cammie replied not sure if he was in character or not. She didn't want Zach to have the satisfaction of having called his Feelings right. A minute later, Charles touched her arm.

"I've got eyes," he said softly.

"Well," Cammie said brightly. "I'm going to go freshen up." She stuck to the code that the director insisted on even though Charles had failed to do so. She handed him the champagne flute she hadn't so much as sipped and took off through the crowd.

Cammie ascended the stairs quickly and- following the map she'd memorized- headed for Molly Worhiemer's office. The second floor was silent, but Cammie could hear the party going on downstairs through her comms unit. Eventually she found a steel door with a keypad. As far as missions went this one was more than easy. She already had the code from Intelligence.

"I found the office," she said aloud.

"Okay." She typed the code in and the door swung open silently.

"I'm in." All she needed to do was download the computer files onto a flash drive and leave. She didn't even need to hack into anything or decode any files. She sat by the computer and stuck the drive in. As the files began to download the heavy door swung shut with a slam. Cammie frowned. She stood up quickly and crossed the room. She tugged on the door, but it wouldn't open. Looking around, she found that there wasn't any keypad on this side of the door.

She spent the next twenty minutes trying to get the door open while snapping at Charles in the earpiece. He wasn't responding. The comms unit had gone dead.

Eventually she faced the fact that she wasn't getting out through the door and she dragged the chair under the air vent. She tucked the flash drive back into her bra and climbed up onto the chair.

The vent was relatively spacious, all things considered, but it was still cramped. And dirty. There weren't any rats- thank God- but there were dead bugs, live bugs, and an abundance of spider webs. The tight turns only made the experience worse.

Eventually she reached a vent on the floor of the ballroom. Luckily it was behind one of the empty bars. She crawled out quickly and stood up scanning for Charles. Her dress was dirty and torn. Her hair was disheveled and full of spider webs. And she was pissed.

After about a minute she spotted Charles talking to a bartender across the room. Without thinking of the consequences of her actions she started across the room. All eyes watched her crossing the room, her face the same color as her ripped red dress. She stopped right in front of him but before she could speak, he leaned forward and started kissing the bartender- the male bartender. She was so shocked her mouth snapped shut.

He didn't notice her standing there until he broke away from the bartender. Turns out he didn't really have a thing for her. Zach would get a kick out of it, but that was the last thing on her mind right now.

"How dare you…" she noticed all the people standing around watching her. "Cheat on me!" she finished. Acting on impulse she raised her hand a slapped him hard across the face. Ignoring his outraged look and the shocked looks of the other people in the ballroom she turned on her heel and stalked out of the banquet hall.

She got the key from the valet, brushing off his questions regarding the whereabouts of the man she'd arrived with. After a quick stop to drop off the drive and file a formal complaint against Charles's work ethic- really she should be kissing people on his own time, she went home.

Zach was sitting up on their bed when she walked through the front door.

"What happened to you?" he asked when she came in.

"Charles," she snapped irritably. "Charles happened to me." Zach was off the bed in an instant.

"Wha-" She put up a hand to stop him

"Don't worry," she said irritably. "He's gay." Zach's gleeful smile did not go unnoticed.

* * *

><p>"Great," Cammie muttered as she, Bex, and Liz slipped into their red bride's maids dresses. They were long dresses. Long <em>strapless<em> dresses. "Are you sure we have to wear these?" Bex, who looked stunning as per usual, rolled her eyes.

"It's Macey's wedding, Cam," she said. "She gets to decide what we wear."

"I let you guys wear what you wanted at my wedding," Cammie grumbled.

"But this is Macey, Cam," Liz pointed out. "You know she likes things done a certain way."

"Still."

Xx

Despite their requests, they were not allowed to see Macey before the ceremony so once they were done dressing they were ushered into the hallway, down the stairs, and to the door that they would step through to start their walk down the aisle at the beginning of the ceremony. Cammie held her dress up as she walked. It was far too long on her, but she didn't think much of it. She was far too concerned with the idea her bra falling off. She'd gone as far as asking Bex to sew it shut for her- she refused.

"Alright ladies!" the wedding planner yelled even though they were directly in front of her. "Here are you bouquets. Cameron drop your dress. Big smiles ladies Bex then Liz then Cammie. Go!"

The music swelled and Cammie started down the aisle. A little time passed before Liz went after her, then it was Cammie's turn. She clutched the flowers in her hands and started walking.

Her bra wouldn't open, she told herself. It wouldn't. In ten minutes she would come to wish that her bra had opened. That would've been favorable to what actually ended up happening.

About halfway down the aisle, Cammie's foot caught on the end of her too long dress and horror of horrors it slipped down and stopped around her thighs.

Cammie froze. The music stopped. The people sitting in the seats around her stared at her, mouths agape. Even Bex and Liz stared at her horrified. Only Zach seemed immune to the freeze that had fallen on the ceremony.

"Okay," he said standing and making his way out of the aisle he was sitting in. "I know my wife is insanely gorgeous, but you all really need to stop gawking at her now. She's coming home with me." Swiftly he pulled the dress up (not that it mattered at this point because Cammie's skin was the same color as the dress.) Still she didn't move. He pried the flowers out of her hands gently and tossed them at Bex. Then he gave her a nudge.

"It's not that bad," he whispered in her ear. "Just walk." That was enough to shake her from her trance. She lifted the skirt of her dress and hurried the rest of the way down the aisle where she stood next to Bex, face burning, for the remainder of the ceremony.

Xx

"Way to steal the show at my wedding, Cam," Macey teased at the reception. Cammie groaned and leaned her head against Zach's chest.

"I can't believe that that happened."

"Look on the bright side, Gallagher Girl," Zach replied gently. "Your bra didn't fall off."

She smacked him.

* * *

><p>"This is a bad idea," Cammie insisted as Zach slipped her flats onto her feet.<p>

"What is?"

"This dress!" she exclaimed. "It's red. It's a red dress." Zach straightened and tried for a smile. When Cammie refused to oblige he sighed.

"Nothing is going to happen, Gallagher Girl," he replied. "This dress stops at your knees. And it has straps. Nice thick straps to go with your nice thickly strapped bra."

"Something always happens when I wear red, Zach."

"Which is ironic," he replied. "Because you look so good in red." Cammie scowled.

"I'm over eight months pregnant," she snapped. "And I look like a whale. A big old red whale. And with my luck, in this dress, I'm going to pop tonight." Zach chuckled though, Cammie noted, somewhat nervously.

"You look beautiful, Cam," he pointed out. "And you aren't due for another two weeks."

"Babies don't always come on time."

"Well then, I don't know what to tell you. Tonight's gala is mandatory and this was the only formal dress in the maternity store that was your size."

"Are you trying to say that I'm fat?" Cammie asked, eyes narrowing. Zach ran a hand through his hair nervously. The third trimester had knocked Cammie's emotions into a whole other world. She was mad right now, which he could take, but the sight of her crying always broke him, especially when it was his fault.

"No," he said slowly. "I'm saying that your small. You should... eat more." She actually could stand to eat a bit more, though his original comment had less to do with her size and more to do with the fact that the store just _didn't have any other formal gowns in her size._ The look on her face told him he'd gone and said something wrong again. Cammie buried her face in her hands.

"Sarcasm?" she whimpered. "You don't have to be so mean about it."

"No, Cam, no," he said reaching out for her.

"Just kidding," she said moving her hands and giggling. Oh yea, and her sense of humor had become a bit deranged too.

Xx

They had only been standing in the banquet hall for ten minutes when Cammie suddenly clutched Zach's arm. Her eyes were wide. Face pale.

"What's wrong?" he asked gripping her arms gently to steady her.

"Zach," she whispered. "The baby's coming."

"That's funny, Cammie," he replied, but he didn't release his grip on her. "Really, really funny."

"I'm not joking." And then her water broke. Zach looked down and swallowed.

"Okay," he choked out. "I believe you." He lifted her quickly out of the puddle forming under her and placed her on his other side."

"Mr. and Mrs. Goode," a senator called crossing over to them in three strides. "Oh." He'd stepped in the puddle. Cammie felt faint. She swayed slightly and Zach reached out quickly to steady her.

"I hate when people get so drunk that they spill their drinks, don't you?" the senator said. He didn't wait for the mortified couple to respond. Instead he turned to flag down a waiter. "Excuse me, clean this up will you?" While the poor man ran off to get a mop, the senator guided Zach and Cammie a few feet away from the puddle.

"So nice to see you two," he said smiling warmly. "Say Mrs. Goode-"

"Ah!" Cammie cried crushing Zach's hand as her first contraction hit her. The senator's eyes crinkled in a mixture of confusion and concern but before he could speak Zach was dragging Cammie in the direction of the door.

"Sorry, senator!" Zach called over his shoulder. "We're having a baby!" If Cammie hadn't been in so much pain, she would've punched him. As soon as they'd made it out the front door, Zach lifted Cammie into his arms and carried her the rest of the way to the valet station.

"Zach!" Cammie exclaimed.

"Just be happy I let you walk out of the hall by yourself," he replied as the valet brought the car around. "I knew you'd have my head if I picked you up in there." He placed her in the passenger seat and buckled her seat belt ignoring her annoyed look. He jumped into the driver's seat and started up the car. When he looked back over at her she had her face in her hands.

"I know," he said deciphering her expression. "We're going to be parents."

"No," Cammie mumbled her voice muffled by her hands. "I can't believe the senator stepped in that puddle back there." Zach guffawed.

* * *

><p>"Here, honey," Cammie's mom said handing her a dress in a cover. Cammie unzipped it and frowned. "What?"<p>

"It's red. I said not red. Anything but red."

"You specifically asked for red," Rachel replied with a frown. "I have your note." She pulled it out and together they gazed at the paper.

"See," said Cammie pointing. "Not red."

"Well I couldn't read that word," her mother replied. "What's the big deal anyway?"

"The last time I wore red, I gave birth."

"Well that's good," Rachel said. Cammie gawked at her.

"_Good?"_

"Yes," her mother replied. "Having a child is a wonderful thing."

"Yea, but being cut out of a dress is not."

"Why were you-"

"The zipper was stuck," Cammie explained.

"Oh…" Her mother had gotten to the hospital twenty minutes after Zach and Cammie and as such had missed the zipper debacle. In fact, the only one there to witness it was Zach and he wasn't making matters any better as he nervously tugged at the zipper for a good three minutes before deeming it stuck.

"You'll be fine," Rachel said finally. "This is the grand reopening of the Gallagher Academy not dinner with the queen."

"Fine," Cammie grumbled. "But if my dress rips then you're giving me yours."

"Deal."

Xx

"Cammie," Rachel said hurrying over to her later that day. "I need you to lead a group of students down to the science labs."

"Okay," Cammie said breezily. She stood and handed Zach their baby before heading off to the group of students her mother was referring to.

"She's in a considerably better mood than she was when I handed her the dress this morning," Rachel pointed out to Zach who had been watching her walk away with a small smile.

"Yea," he replied. "Morgan has that effect on people. Don't you Morgan?" He tickled the baby.

Xx

Cammie had only just finished telling the kids about the new science department when her phone rang.

"Excuse me a moment," she said attempting to quickly shut off the burners she'd turned on. She picked up the phone. "Zach."

"Hey, Cam," he replied.

"Is everything okay? Is Morgan okay?"

"Mrs. Goode!" one of the students called anxiously.

"Just a minute," Cammie responded. "Zach?"

"Morgan's fine, Cam," he answered.

"Mrs. Goode!" more children shouted.

"I said just a-" And then the smell hit her. Something was on fire. She looked down. _She _was on fire.

"No, no, no."

"What's wrong, Cammie?" Zach asked. "What ha-" But she didn't hear the rest because at that moment the student closest to Cammie tackled her in an attempt to beat out the flames with his own body. Cammie shrieked. The door burst open and Zach came roaring in.

"You get off of her!" he shouted lifting the poor kid by the back of his shirt and punching him in the face. Cammie groaned and let her head fall back onto the ground hard.

Xx

"So," Bex said a while later as they spoke to her via skype. "How'd the grand reopening go?"

"We don't want to talk about it," Zach and Cammie responded together.

* * *

><p>Cammie stared in horror at the front page of the newspaper Zach had just handed her.<p>

"This is my underwear," she said numbly.

"I'm aware," Zach replied, a small smile playing at his lips. Cammie continued staring at the picture of herself, dress blown up not enough to cover her face but enough to give a pretty good view of her underwear. The headline read _Agent Jumps off a Roof after a Run for Her Life. _Sure it didn't mention her underwear, but it still showed a picture of it which was more than enough in Cammie's book.

"Zach," she said horrified.

"Relax, Gallagher Girl," he replied. "You have nice underwear. I don't see the problem."

"The problem," she said struggling to control her voice. "Is that my _nice _underwear is on the front page of a newspaper for anyone to see!" He was about to reply when his phone pinged.

"Would you look at that," he murmured.

"What?"

"Is local agent caught on camera hotter than Annie Walker?"

"Is that online?" Cammie shrieked. He nodded. "I am _never_ wearing a red dress again."

"That's what you always say."

**AN: Well I don't know how that turned out but I certainly had fun writing it. Big thanks to my friend J. who gave me the idea for the last one. Speaking of the last one, does anyone know what Annie Walker is from? Review please.**


End file.
